Alone...is it just a reality show or is it a pandemic?

Can we dream a new world together and make it real? Connect in a world that is too busy? Reach out in a world that separates? Look out for each other in a world that looks the other way?

Once upon a time we lived in a tribe.

Once upon a time we lived in a village.

Once upon a time we lived in a community.

Once upon a time we lived in a neighbourhood
and knew all the people in the street.

Once upon a time we “just popped in”
shared a cuppa,
and spoke about all things real

and otherwise.

Sometimes,

we just popped in
for no particular reason.

****

Once upon a time we spoke on the phone.
Having loooonnng conversations,
and waiting for Sundays

to speak interstate.

Once upon a time we wrote letters,
in fine ink on pretty paper,
and knew

we had to wait for a reply.

Once upon a time we took time
to connect
to those that were ill
to those that were struggling
to those that just needed

checking on.

Once upon a time we lived in a world,
a village,
a street,

where we connected…

And then
then,

something happened….

Photo by Evie S. on Unsplash

Something happened that shut this connection down.
That broke this connection off,
That tore this connection out from our hearts and souls in a way that shattered the core of who we are as a species.

Something happened

and this something separated people

and made them feel apart


I would love to say, “Made them feel A PART.
A part of something greater, something more”
Yet in reality it made them feel APART

As defined by the Merriam Webster Dictionary

Apart (one word)  indicates some sort of separation between things,

A part (two words) refers to one of the units into which something is divided, as in "a part of the story."

It implies a segment of something larger.

Alone.

So many live alone.

By choice.
Some.

Others…
by circumstances beyond their control.

ALONE.

We live in a society that is “apart”

A society that DEFINES people
by their status,
their finances,
their job,

by their living conditions,
their role
their marital status,

by their sin
their health
their children

by their elderly parents
their religion
their clothing

by their ethnicity
their sexual preference
their political preference

by their
their
their…

This something that happened began to close people off.
It began to isolate folk and separate them from the greater circle of kindness and humanity.
This something that happened
made us feel uncomfortable
uncomfortable to spontaneously knock on our neighbour’s door,
to ask for a cup of sugar
to play with their children.

This something that happened created the nuclear family
and a life that is built on a falsehood of time,
relationships
and doing.

Something happened,
and the neighbourhood catch up
the hand written letters
the smiles in the street
became something of a far
far away
memory.

At what stage in the evolution of humanity did being alone and living alone become “the new norm?”

What does being alone mean to you?
Have you ever been lonely and not alone?
When you are alone what needs are not being met?
What do you believe we need to do as a society to help bridge the aloneness and create Community?

Can we care for each other no matter what?
Can we open our hearts a little bit more and reach out that little bit more?

Are we really that busy?

Or are we just distracted?

In a world that offers emojis and constant notifications
how deep are our connections?

And why do we consciously choose to connect the way we do?

We live in a world where 8 billion people reside.
Why then are so many people feeling alone?

Maybe they are alone
because,
those that are near
are too far away.

Maybe they are alone
because,
a broken heart is deep
and raw and sore
and space is needed
and wanted

and craved.

Maybe they are alone
because,
it takes too much vulnerability
to reach out
to pick up the phone

to say “I need help.”

Maybe they are alone
because,
family were never there
and friends don’t seem to care.

Maybe they are alone
because,
the children have left
and the aftermath of that
is emptiness
and memories.

Maybe they are alone
because,
they are living someone else’s life
not their own.

Maybe they are alone
because,
work has sent them somewhere else
or they have gone somewhere else
and making new friendships
is vulnerable
and raw

Maybe they are alone
because…

because

because…

ALONE.

Have you ever felt part of a friendship/tribe/community/street where you can easily knock on the door and say “Can you help me? I need help?”

Have you ever felt part of a group of people and still felt deeply alone?

Have you ever reached out to someone who is alone, knowing that maybe you were the only one who did so?

What does connection mean to you? What does true friendship look like?

ALONE.
TOGETHER.
CONNECTION.

We are part of nature.
So in essence we are never alone.
Our bones are akin to the Earth we walk upon.
Our blood is akin to the Waters that flow.
Our breath is akin to the Air we breathe.

We are part of nature
Never meant to live apart.

We are part of nature.

And yet,
by all the flashing things that consumerism offers
we have been pushed so far away from nature
that we no longer look out,
look up,
look around.

And if we do,
we feel different from the norm,
we feel estranged
we feel apart.

And this disconnect,
this aloneness
makes our soul feel lost
feel abandoned
feel empty.

I am a dreamer
An optimist
A visionary.

I believe in a different way of connecting.

And that is why I am writing to you today.

I invite you to dream with me a different way of connecting.
I invite you to dream with me a more tangible way of relating.
I invite you to dream with me a soft and simple way of relating.

Imagine that someone has just rung you.

This person has rung you by surprise
their voice is so excited to hear your voice.
Can you hear their excitement as you pick up the phone
Can you hear them say, “I have just poured a cup of tea and I wanted to share it with you. How ARE YOU? How are you REALLY?”
And you know,
deeply know,
that that person who just rang you
REALLY AND TRULY wants to know and hear how you are.
Not just the fake “Oh, I am good thank you,”
rather the “Oh life is this…..”
“and then this happened….”
“and guess what….”
They want to HEAR IT ALL.
They want to hear it because they are REALLY AND TRULY ARE INTERESTED.

And as you talk to them
you notice that they are neither giving you advice
or condradicting your story,
they are neither making you feel guilty
or trying to rescue you.

All they are doing is listening
and sharing in your excitement
or your grief
your happiness
you life.

And then, maybe you ask them about their life…
just maybe…

Can you imagine a conversation like that?
Can you imagine what that would feel like deep within your heart, your being?

Can you imagine yourself being that person…ringing someone up just to say hi,
just to check on them,
just to share a cuppa over the phone…

Here are some things you can do to create a sense of community…

• Smile at a stranger

• Say hello to the cashier that you always see. One of my dear friends was a strange sales assistant in a gift shop that I would constantly visit. I hardly bought things, I just went to look. Then we chatted. Then we chatted some more. Then I would go to the shop just to say hi…and over time a lovely profound friendship has developed.

• Invite a friend over for a meal. Maybe make it a weekly, fortnightly or monthly get together.

• Maybe you decide to have a regular games night,
  or a regular crochet morning - sharing patterns and skills and the nuances of wool,
  or a regular gardening gathering.

• Maybe you know friends who like the opera or music and together you organise regular gatherings at the theatre or the Opera House.

• Or maybe in your building or your street you organise a shared meal - everyone cooks a dish to share.
  

  WHAT ELSE CAN YOU ADD TO THIS LIST?
  

It just takes one person to have a dream
a dream so passionate that the energy of that ripples out to others.

I have a dream -
where people learn how to connect deeply
where the pandemic of being alone is a distant past
where sharing and caring and reaching out is authentic and real and simple.

Would you like to join my dream?

Shall we be radical together?
Shall we try in our own way to create a sense of community, tribe and well being?
Shall we in our own way create a new way of connecting and relating?

You may say I’m a dreamer.
I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
and the world
will be as one”

John Lennon - Imagine

In hope and connection,
peace and respect.

My name is Sam. I am a Healer - a Gardener and Storyteller of the Soul. I weave earth based wisdom into simple living and self healing, for you now, and for the 7th generation to come. I offer 1-2-1 healing/mentoring packages. To book a session contact me here.

Soft Simple Still is where I write words of healing for you to ponder and contemplate,
and Meditations with Sam is where I post weekly meditations for you to listen to.

I look forward to sharing more with you.