5 tips to Decluttering

(or Home - Part 2)

Journey with me my friend,
to those places far and wide,
to those places where the old ones live
to those places where they die.

Journey with me,
my friend

Journey
with
me.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Hello my dear friend,

How are you? How has YOUR week been?

Did you get to read my last letter, it was Part 1 of this letter entitled Home - is home where you travel or is home where you leave? To be honest I didn’t think I was going to write a part 2, yet here it is.

I will pause here a moment if you need to read it first.

Home.

So I am in a threshold space.

Part of me has crossed over.
Part of me is feeling very grounded and present.

The Healer Part of me for example has proudly crossed the threshold and is strong in who I am and what I am offering. (If you would like a healing session feel free to get in touch. I have gained more wisdom and healing knowledge since travelling and would love to hold space for you.)

And yet there is another part of me that is still crossing the threshold with a smaller bag in hand and a lighter attitude in mind.

I travelled,
we travelled,
very lightly.

Living out of small suitcases and backpacks,
staying with friends or other such accommodation.

We didn’t need a lot.
We didn’t have a lot.
We gave clothes away
and seemed to come home lighter.

And yet when we came home, to our beautiful home I have to say, we came to so SO MUCH STUFF.

We all felt the same.

We have SO much.
Even though to be honest we try to live a minimalistic life.

I love old furniture. Somehow over my life I have collected old antique pieces. In my garage is my Great-grandmother’s side board. She was born in 1881 and died in 1971. I was born the day she died. It is a huge amazing piece of furniture. The type of furniture that you need a large family house to put it in. I was lucky to have grown up in such a family home. My Mum inherited the sideboard, and now I have done so too.

I have another antique sideboard in my Dad’s garage. It is part of a kitchen set with a matching kitchen table (which my Dad uses as his dining table) and old carved wooden chairs (that I and my family use around our own kitchen table).

I live in a 2 bedroom apartment. There is no room in my home for antiques of that calibre.

What do I do with them? Antiques. History. Memories.

What do you do with things that still hold memories?

With things that hold part of your ancestry, your childhood smiles, your past and possible future?

What do you do with your antiques? With the things that maybe you don’t really want yet that hold part of your past, your DNA, your cellular memory?

And also, what do you do with the things that you love and then know that when you die maybe someone else isn’t going to love them the same way?

Photo by James Lee on Unsplash

And while there is a huge antique side board in my garage, there are other things too…bikes, tool boxes, camping equipment…things that get used over and over and over again. These things belong in the garage.

I wonder does that mean the other things don’t belong there?

We all went through the garage on the weekend. Seeing things with different eyes. Seeing things that essentially for one reason or another we have “grown out of.” Seeing things that we acknowledged “it is time to let go of.”

And then there are those boxes that hold memories that right now I am unable to let go of.

Old cards. In a time when handwriting was the only way to communicate these letters mean a great deal to me. Most of the letters are from people who have died whose hand I can no longer hold, whose swirl of letters I will no longer see again. Whose memory is in those cards.

My Mum’s paintings. When my Mum died, we her children inherited her original artwork. You can read about my Mum here. However at the moment most of her work is in large boxes in my garage. And yet these are things that I long to do something special with.

What is in your garage, your home - that you are ready to pass on? Or give back?
What is in there that you are keeping because “you feel you are obliged to?”
What is in there that you are keeping because “I just don’t know what to do with it?”
What is in there that you are keeping because “right now it is safer in that box?”

Sorting and clearing can sometimes be easy and it can other times feel insurmountable.

I have no answers to some of the things in my garage that are ready to go, or maybe not. Yet I wrote for myself, and maybe for you too, My Decluttering Tips

1. Be gentle with yourself
   

   When I choose to sort through my things I know that I have to be kind to myself. Sometimes the action of opening the garage door, the box, the draw is enough. It allows new air to flow in. It invites me to reach out and touch, to smell, to pick up, to move things around. It invites me to begin to sort and put things in piles (see point 3).
   

   Opening a box, looking through an old letter, touching a piece of wood, smelling an old toy, all these actions make memories flood back. Sometimes the flow of water is gentle and soothing, making you smile and filling your heart. Other times your heart may be flooded with so many memories that it feels as though the waters never stop flowing. At those times all one can do is trust that you’re in some safe container as the waters and memories take you where they need to.
   

   It is important to remind yourself that you are in your garage, in your bedroom, in your own space, and that space is a safe space, a sacred container, that that space can hold you as the memories flow by.
   

   Yes, I know, some things we touch will take us on a ride to somewhere else. By reaching out and opening, touching and smelling you are allowing the energy to move and that is important - for your health, and for your garage.
   

   For me the waters seem to help wash something inside for the next time I open the garage door. I wonder what do they do for you?
   

   I have to admit sometimes I expect too much of myself. We are humans. We live in the Land of Expectations. In my experience, unless I have to rush the process it is important to be kind to myself. And even if I have to rush it is still important to be gentle.
   
   Maybe you might have a friend who can sit with you as you open that box or sort through those old letters and papers. Maybe they don’t have the words, yet they may know how to put the kettle on or reach out and give you a gentle hand to hold - holding that space until you can gently breathe out again.
   
   Sometimes that person becomes me to me, or you to you. That is when BEING KIND TO YOURSELF BECOMES REALLY IMPORTANT.
   
   Sorting things is a healing process - do you rush your healing or do you take your time and truly integrate the wisdom, the messages, the experience? Rushing in my experience is only a band-aid effect. True healing takes time. Be gentle. Be kind.

2. Do what you know you can do
   

   Put the rubbish in the bin. Take the pile of old clothes to charity. Ask that clever friend of yours to help fix that item so it can be used again.
   

   Sometimes when we sort out our boxes, garages, rooms, there are things that are easy to sort through. Do them first. These become great self esteem boosters.

   These are really important to do straight away as it shows a beginning and a motion and it helps to clear something out, and this in turn creates clarity for next time we open the garage or the box.
   
   In my experience when I do what I know I can do, when I open the garage door again I can “see” things better and I can take more responsibility for what is there in a more empowered way.

3. Put things in piles and sort things out
   

   This is the step where you go - Rubbish. Charity. I have no idea. Shred. Give it back.
   
   Some things are easy to sort out. They are there waiting to be put into their real “family groups” and we are just the person to do that.
   
   Sometimes though, we have no idea what to do with them - maybe it holds too many memories, maybe we are just too tired right now. Maybe the sun is in our eyes and we can’t see straight. Sort what you can. Be honest about it.
   

   Do you have things in your garage that once upon a time you may have said “Sure, I’ve got space to store that for you.” And then that one day turned into weeks, months, years. Ring up Cousin Jim. Send an email to Aunt Flo. You can give it all back NOW. They might want it back. And yet they may have forgotten about it. They may say, give it away. And whatever they say to do with it DO IT. And if they say “Oh sweetheart you can have it!” ask yourself DO I REALLY WANT IT? Can I really see this come out of my garage and be placed in my home? Can it contribute something special to my life? If not give it to charity or put it in for recycle somewhere.
   

   Sorting can be fun.
   I like sorting.
   I like order.
   
   There is a part of me that is a bit obsessive when it comes to some things. Random things to the outside person. Important things to me though. Sometimes I have no idea how to sort things. So for a while they go into the “I have no idea” pile and, for that moment, if I can sort something else that is OK.
   

   And then, Step 4 comes in…This is an important step that HAS TO BE COMPLETED.
   
   ONCE YOU SORT,
   YOU MUST REMOVE.

4. Remove the sorted item and put it where it REALLY GOES.
   

   It’s great to have sorted your things into groups, however it only gets truly sorted when you do something with them. Take the bags to charity. Throw the cardboard boxes in the recycle. Take the old electronics to council. Shred the old tax returns and put the shredded paper into your compost, in the yellow bin, in the fire if you can.
   
   This step says that you are a really responsible person and you are taking responsibility for what you have sorted and where it has to go. This step also creates space in your garage, box, drawer. It removes the unwanted and gives it a new home and then you have space… space… space…
   

   not to fill with stuff again,
   

   rather to fill with NOTHING

   NOTHING.
   

   Let the nothingness fall into the space and see what that feels like.
   Let the nothingness be like the breath you take when you realise you have held your breath for so long.
   
   Exhale.

   And let the room exhale too.
   

5. Trust in the flow

   As you may know I like to go with the flow. Sometimes though I don’t and I end up paddling up stream without a paddle and nothing gets done and I feel exhausted and drained.
   
   The times I do trust in the flow of life - for example the flow that says today is a great day to sort and de-clutter - I find that I have the mental clarity to do so and I find that I can ground what I decide to do with inner strength and integrity.
   

   Sure there are times when we are sick, out of balance, unwell and stressed. These are times when a good book, a gentle walk in the forest, along the beach or in the park is a better remedy than de-cluttering.
   
   Sometimes though, we have no choice and have to de-clutter right now: so be gentle, be soft, and be honest.
   

   When you do have the space and you can feel the inner call that says “today is the day” - Seize it and make today count!

And always come back to point 1 - BE KIND.

Until next week,
Be gentle with yourself my dear friend,
Be gentle.

ps/ if you would like a healing session please feel free to reach out. Sometimes having someone hold your heart and soul can also help when you wish to clear the garage.

I would love to hear your decluttering story and what tips you would give someone who wishes to down size.