This is my story on self care, and how that has changed over time.

What is your story? How has your story changed over time? I would love you to share it with me. Shall we chat together?

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash

Once upon a time I was told that considering myself first was selfish.
Once upon a time I was told that I had to consider everyone else’s needs before my own.
Once upon a time I saw an old TV ad where women were in the kitchen or tending to their family and husband “because that was what a good housewife looked like.”
Once upon a time my female ancestors would have done just that.

Once upon a time I was told that considering myself first was selfish.
Once upon a time I was told that being selfish meant I had to go to confession.
Once upon a time I was educated in an all girls Catholic school and taught that “3 black marks against your name” would send you to Hell.
Once upon a time I was told that being selfish was a black mark.
Once upon a time I was told that putting others first would send you to Heaven.

Once upon a time I was determined to be a “Good little Catholic girl.”

Once upon a time I believed that other people’s needs were more important than mine.
Once upon a time I felt that it was absolutely fine to swallow my own needs.
Once upon a time I felt it was imperative to consider others first.
Once upon a time I might have done so to keep the peace.
Once upon a time I might have done so to make others feel better.

Once upon a time I realised I was holding space for everyone else.
Once upon a time I realised that I was totally burnt out -

by giving
and giving
and giving.

Once upon a time I felt anger and resentment -
I was giving
and giving

and it now felt uneven.

Once upon a time I felt very small and empty inside.

Once upon a time I felt that I had to do something for others
before I could give to myself.
That giving to myself was a Reward.

Once upon a time I felt that to ask or talk about my needs
would change the status quo.

Or rock the boat.

Once upon a time I thought that doing things I LOVED
was a waste of time
that there were more important things to do -
laundry, cleaning, shopping…

Once upon a time I thought that I was invincible
and that I could push my body in so many different directions,

and that I would be able to do that forever.

Once upon a time I thought that I could give

and give

and give

And then something happened….

I realised that I was in the end giving
from a continual empty place.
I realised that my body had became a sacrifice for my emotions.
I realised that my body was becoming a shadow of the person that I really wanted to be in the world
I realised that my mood was changing
and that I was feeling depressed
and anxious too often.

I realised I felt I had lost my Inspiration,
my Awen,
the deep fire within my belly.

I realised that I needed to heal.
I realised that I needed to put myself first.
I realised that I needed to do things differently.

I realised that I needed to go from being burnt out because I over-gave,
to filling myself up in a sustainable,
honourable,
loving way.

And then another thing happened…

I became a Mumma,
and realised that while, when my children were very young, I gave to them constantly (particulary as I was a long term breastfeeder) I also had to show them that taking time for me was both loving them and loving me.
It created a beautiful example for them to take time for themselves.

And then something else happened

I sat in sacred space with a wonderful menstruality mentor who encouraged me to take time for myself once a month for as long as I could (on the day that I began my bleeding.)

Sometimes that was a whole day.

That was radical.

And yet my partner didn’t think so.
And because of his unwavering support I learnt to take care of me some more.

Now I am a post menopausal woman,
and while I don’t have my monthly bleed I am still so supported to take

TIME JUST FOR ME

to do whatever it is that holds my heart and soul in a way that empowers me,
uplifts me
sustains me physcially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

SO THIS IS WHAT I NOW DO…

Every Tuesday evening I do something just for me. My family vacate the lounge room so I can do what is important for me on that Tuesday evening.

I might meditate.
I might dance.
I might sit quietly and read.
I might knit
or learn to spin
or learn to play the harp.

I might just lay on the floor
and close my eyes.

I am also

Getting regular massages.
Saying that I need an early night.
Saying that I need to leave the table before everyone has finished - to just lay on the floor and close my eyes.
Saying I NEED HELP.
Saying that I am now just going to go to the beach - to sit on the rocks - yes, sometimes by myself,
and yes, sometimes with my family.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR JOURNEY IN LEARNING HOW TO SELF CARE?

WHAT DO YOU DO TO SELF CARE?

My dear friend,

I am facilitating 2 sacred on line spaces so that we can chat together about what it means to self care

WHY?

because

self care says
I love myself enough

because,
self care says
I am worthy

because,
self care says
I am proud of myself.

and in talking together as women
and sharing our stories
we are changing the consciousness

Of what it means, as women,
to self care.

WILL YOU JOIN ME

THIS SUNDAY 1st June - 7:30pm-9:30pm AEST

OR

THURSDAY 5th June - 9am - 11am

Use this time converter to see which time is best for you.

Places are limited to allow for honest confidential conversations.

All sessions on line.

Do join me. I would love to hear what you have done to self care.

To purchase your ticket click the button below

So, let us together change the consciousness
of what it means as women to self care.

Why do we choose, or not, to care for ourselves?
Why do we choose, or not, to take time just for ourselves?
What does self care actually look like?
How does self care say “I love myself enough?”
Does it change as we get older?

Please email me or send me a DM if you need any further information.

Until Sunday,

Blessed be.

PS/ If you would like to to book in for a healing session to support your self care journey - do reach out. To book a session contact me here.

Soft Simple Still is where I write words of healing for you to ponder and contemplate,
Meditations with Sam is where I post weekly meditations for you to listen to.
All of these offerings are free.

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