What happens when we stop bending ourselves out of shape?

maybe, just maybe, we feel comfortable to BE OURSELVES

Hi, I’m Sam! Welcome to Soft. Simple. Still. where, like gentle butterflies that land upon your hand, words will land softly in your heart for healing, for stillness, for simplicity. Feel free to join me in creating a Soft. Simple. Still world.

Twisting
Turning
Bending
Flexing

Reaching higher
Bending lower

Turning left
Trying right

Covering up
Wiping it off

Saying yes
Meaning no

Saying no
Meaning yes

Speaking nonsense
trying for truth

falling down…

and staying down…

and then,
starting again

my way…

I have had some really inspiring conversations of late…

Conversations where I know that I can deep dive into my own Ocean of Truth knowing that my heart and soul can swim with ease amongst the depth and beauty that is there.

One recent conversation began with “So, how’s your {inner} garden going?” and “What has inspired you today?” and continued with “Is that a good thought to be going around and around in your head?”

Another conversation began with “Death” continued onto “War and Peace” with a segue into what it means to “Embody the Divine Masculine and The Divine Feminine.”

Do you have friends that you can talk to like that -
Friends that you can just deep dive into the Ocean of Life with and swim freely with;
Friends who gently challenge your thought patterns,
your belief systems,
your way of being in the world, with hearts that are so filled with compassion, kindness and hope,
hearts that are so open because they truly wish to hear and understand what you have to say,
hearts that are so open because they too are walking a similar path and wish to share the journey with you?

Friends who essentially encourage you to go to the very core of who you are in a way that is inspiring, and while challenging and at times uncomfortable, are supportive and hopeful and gentle.

These friends don’t want to change your shape
rather they just want to help you take off the mud
so you can see how beautiful your real shape is.

“Stop trying to bend yourself out of shape.”

Finbar Coady

When I look at my friendships, I realise that I don’t have many.

And to be honest, while at times I feel “left out” I must also admit that I like the friendships that I have because of the depth and honesty,
the ease and gracefulness
that I feel when I am sitting with these people.

I have tried to “have friends” and “make friends.”
Tried to move myself in different ways to fit in
Tried to dance their dance
or dance the dance I thought I had to do,
I tried to reshape myself to be their shape
tried to, I guess, conform and be complicit to a way that says “To fit in, you have to do it this way.”

And then, a few things happened:

• I felt tired every time I was with that person.

• I felt deep in my gut that while it was, well, “what it was”, it wasn’t stimulating me in the way that my deeper essence wished to be stimulated, heard and appreciated.

• I felt that, when I was with those people, I was always in protective mode - holding back part of me because, if I truly express who I am, what I do and what I believe in, I am looked at in a way that makes me feel small and insignificant.

• I felt that I controlled the catch-up - ensuring I kept the conversation away from ME and always on THEM - their interests, their lives - and if it came back to ME I would ensure that my answer was honest on the surface yet held back on a deeper level.

• We always seemed to part ways - sometimes it happened naturally, other times it was more difficult.

• I had children. My children innately choose not to play with other children when they feel as though they have to “perform.” I can see how draining it is for them. I prefer them to make friends that make them feel comfortable, rather than play with others just for the sake of it.

Because I have tried to reshape myself to fit in
I have tripped up
I have bruised myself and hurt myself -
trying to be someone that I am not

Trying to be that square peg,
when in actual fact I am a circle . . .

and try as I might there are some holes
I just can not fit into.

Did you know, when I started offering healing sessions back at the turn of the last millennium, (pre 2000) I was either taunted and teased, or just looked at in a very funny, although not very kind way?

There were times when it felt like a modern day witch hunt trial . . .

harsh verbal comments
harsh rejections
harsh looks

it was absolutely awful
and incredibly painful.

Sometimes now, all these years later I still feel that particular gaze, that particular look, when people ask me what I do…

I now know how to quickly change the subject,
or excuse myself

or I just stand taller than I have ever stood before
and look them straight in the eye
and smile.

I tried to bend myself out of shape, just to fit in
I tried to bend myself out of shape to try and get new “friends”
I tried to bend myself out of shape to feel “normal.”

My true friends love that my shape is different
sensitive and empathic
quirky and messy
clear and concise
ethereal and grounded
exotic and friendly,
calm and peaceful
soft and gentle
aware and clumsy
colourful and unique

and that makes me feel

sooo free.

I prefer my own company.
I prefer the company of nature
I prefer the company of my inner circle.
I once felt sad because I realised that I just don’t fit in to the “norm” -

whatever that is

and now,

NOW

I am me.

Beyond the titles
Beyond the labels
beyond the need to change my shape

I am Sam.

And as Sam,
I welcome YOU
and encourage you to be YOU.

SOME QUESTIONS TO PONDER

What have you done in your life to bend yourself out of shape? Why did you do this? What happened then? What has happened now?
Why have you chosen to let your true shape be revealed? Who sees it? Why do you show your true shape to them?
Has there ever been a time when you showed part, or all of your true shape to the wider world? Why did you feel comfortable to do so?
What have you done to honour your true shape to yourself ?

This is part of my story. In storytelling we heal. Please feel free to share your story so that others can heal too.

Until then,

In honour of YOUR UNIQUE SHAPE.

Have you ever considered becoming a PATRON to somebody? Supporting them because you believe in their work, in their message, in what they can offer to the wider world. Maybe you would consider becoming my FINANCIAL PATRON? Your contribution ensures that my light and energy can be sustained in a soft, simple and still way.

In gratitude,
for all your support. x